After one year of being a graduate student in a HESA (Higher
Education & Student Affairs) masters student, I’d like to think that I have
learned a few things about the experience. As my cohort and I prepare for the
shiny new faces of the incoming cohort, I’ve been thinking about things I wish
I would have known when I began my journey.
So, like your typical #SA type, I’ve got some advice to dole
out! Mind you, this advice reflects my experiences and the experiences of
friends I have spoken to. It may not all relate to you, if any of it does at
all. But who knows, it might prove helpful :)
And a word of warning – there is no sugar coating here.
1). The Adjustment
Isn’t Easy
The difficulty of the adjustment will depend on your
personal life, identity, and past experiences. See, I was working for 5 years
in that 9-6, 40+ hours a week lifestyle with free evenings and weekends
(generally speaking). Then bam! I began graduate school where there is no free
time, and considering I am a “nontraditional student” (quotation marks because
I dislike the ‘other-ing’ phrase) with a family dependent, my free time was
certainly nonexistent.
Even if you’re coming straight from undergrad, the time
constraints are still a shocker. All of a sudden you are (if you’re in most
programs) likely doing a 20+ week assistantship, spending 10ish hours a week in
class, studying and writing papers, and trying to build connections within your
cohort – plus whatever other professional opportunities head your way. You may
become involved with committees, practicums, and research opportunities.
Then everyone in student affairs latches onto the phrase “work/life
balance” and you’re getting lectured to find such a balance. Nerrrr. Stop.
Balance is nonexistent as an #sagrad. It is mathematically impossible.
However, that doesn’t mean you can’t try. Remember to stay
in contact with friends and family, make new friends and carve out social time,
and make time for your hobbies. That will extend your sanity.
2.) You’re Going to
Cry
Now, you may be thinking a few things
a) There’s no crying in Student Affairs (lies!) or
b) Yeah, okay, maybe…
On some real talk, graduate school is stressful and
the transition can be intense. Not only do you have all the adjustment issues (listed
above), but you may be missing friends, family, significant others, pets, etc.
On top of that, you’re getting slammed by assignments and readings (first
semester is usually known as the ‘higher ed hazing’ semester – it certainly
prepares you for subsequent semesters…)
Point is: YOU’RE NOT ALONE. My first semester I was insanely
stressed trying to juggle family commitments, work, and class obligations. My
mistake? Not really talking about it. The funny thing is that no one else did
either and it wasn’t until the second semester that we shared our struggles. It
was at that point that I realized “Blimey! I wasn’t going crazy! Everyone else
felt the same as well!” So if you’re stressed out, sad, and crying, just stop
for a moment and realize one of your cohort mates is probably also crying in
their shower too!
3.) Don’t Be Afraid
to Challenge Your Studies
You’ll find that most student affairs programs love theories
and that they spend a lot of time referring to theories that are based on
population samples that do not reflect all students. Unfortunately, it seems
like a lot of us, for whatever reason, drink the Kool-Aid. “Challenge and
Support! Yeah! Self-Authorship! Yeah!”
But you may be sitting at your desk think ‘This does not apply to me or the people I
know’ or maybe ‘um…yeah...challenge
and support is pretty common sense’. At one point or another you will
likely think a lot of things don’t really apply to you unless you are a white
Christian male – at least until you get to that class session that
focuses on student affairs studies related to race, gender, sexual orientation,
etc.
So speak up! Ask questions! I know…it’s a lot harder
than it seems, with the pressure of asking questions in front of everyone,
especially if you feel like the one lone voice. But it is important to ask
these questions – questions that someone else is probably thinking and if
they’re not, consider this a teachable moment.
That’s not to say that student affairs theories are
irrelevant…you’ll form your own opinion. It’s impossible to categorize human
beings because they are each unique creatures but different theories can be
used for different scenarios, depending on the student. However, I know I was
(am!) uncomfortable with some theories because of the research behind it (focusing
on sample populations like white upper-class Christian males) and think it is
important to question everything (while leaving your mind open to everything).
4.) You Know Nothing,
Jon Snow!
Sometimes you feel like you should just quit graduate school
because you don’t understand concepts and APA citations are the devil. Or maybe
you’re getting challenged on the false knowledge you hold, especially as you
begin learning about identities different from your own.
Embrace it – Tablua Rasa (black
slate) and all that! Remember that
your colleagues are in the same boat and that you are not the only one
considering dropping out of school to be a roadie for Beyonce’s tour.
At the same time – DON’T DOUBT YOURSELF! Your experiential
knowledge matters. You are in this program for a reason, and that’s
because you bring something to the table – share that. And if you are hearing
something in the classroom that relates to your experiences (or something that
contradicts them), share! Your input is valuable and will go a long way towards
helping your cohort be the best damn group of student affairs professionals
there is!
5.) Don’t
Procrastinate & Do Your Readings
“Oh I won’t
procrastinate! I’m so excited for grad school!”
Haha…that’s cute.
The truth of the matter is, is that you will most likely
procrastinate on your work. You probably won’t mean to do such a thing, but
when you’re trying to balance your assistantship and life, things happen.
As soon as you get your syllabi, map out your semester.
Write in all due dates onto your calendar and then add work stuff as well. When
you get assigned to a group project (student affairs LOVES group projects),
write out an agenda for all your meetings, list out every aspect of the
project, and then assign responsibilities and deadlines. Then, hold people
accountable – and hold yourself accountable.
Also, learn the art of reading for content. When you’re
assigned 400 pages to read each week (it happens), you don’t have to read every
word – but you do have to read the right words. ‘Skimming’ does not equal
‘skipping’. With books, read over chapter titles and subtitles to get a feel
for the main topic, and then speed read from there. When you find something
interesting or have a question, mark it for later. When you’re reading
articles, read the summary at the beginning and then the ‘Findings’/’Summary’
at the end to get a gist of the article – then go through the rest to pick up
the details quickly.
6.) Remember: It’s
Okay to Disagree & Debate
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| Except don't actually yell. That's bad. But this is a funny gif, and thus had to be included |
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People in student affairs graduate programs can often be categorized easily. Ask around. Many SA types were super involved in college as
an undergrad, usually as an Orientation Leader, RA, etc. They tend to have
awards and lots of positive relations with people.
Generally speaking, because of all this positive support they may
not be as used to challenge, and like most people, are not big fans of
confronting others or getting confronted.
There will come a time (okay, multiple times) when someone
is going to make a comment you find offensive and/or that you disagree with.
Say something! Take it as an opportunity to sieze a ‘teachable moment’. Don’t
be afraid of offending that person or be afraid of them getting ‘mad’ at you.
As long as you are respectful and engage them into the conversation, you’ll be
able to have a great conversation on the topic.
Likewise, if someone confronts you because of an offensive
comment/statement, the rules of social justice are to 1.) Be quiet 2.) Listen to
their concerns 3.) Thoughtfully consider your actions from an outsider
standpoint and how you may be contributing to unjust systems 4.) Engage in
dialogue
7.) Make the Most of It
I regret becoming so busy with family obligations, work, and
the transition during my first semester that I didn’t spend a lot of time
socializing with my cohort. I attended some of the larger events, sure, but
that was about it. I recommend that new first year students learn to
incorporate socializing with the other parts of their lives. For example,
everyone has to eat! Make a goal of inviting one or several fellow student
affairs grads out to eat a couple times a week – bonus points if it is someone
you usually don’t interact with! Host study parties that balance studying with
hanging out (i.e., spend 30 minutes of quiet, then 15 minutes of chatting).
Attend the sponsored social events. Create your own events!
Love Supernatural and want to have
watch parties? Post it on the Facebook group/email list! Want to attend spoken word poetry night? Send an owl/raven to all your #SAgrad friends! Get out and explore your
new city in groups to do activities like hiking or study sessions at the hipster-y coffee
shop.
Besides the social aspects, make the most of your academics!
Ask a professor in your department out for coffee. Get involved with research.
Join university committees. Create connections. You'll be happier for it.
Ultimately, your reality is whatever you create it to be*. Enjoy!
*I wouldn't be a social justice educator if I didn't add a disclaimer that your while reality is whatever you make it to be, sometimes we cannot control aspects of our reality due to identity and systematic structures. We can only control how we deal with those aspects and how we push for change.
