IU Homecoming: "In Loco Parentis" is Over, Clean up Your Cups!

The HESA student organization hosted a tailgating tent today for IU’s Homecoming. As a student at BGSU I never went tailgating (it was never really a ‘thing’) so I decided to head out today. I figured “Hey, a Big 10 school must have some interesting traditions.”

If by “interesting” you mean unadulterated chaos.

I honestly believe I saw this facial expression at least twice.

 So my brother and I are there at the HESA tent hanging out when someone asks if we had seen the student section of the tailgate area.

“No,” said I.   

Their lips curled into a mischievous smile and they told me to walk past the alumni center to check it out.

So, cool. My brother and I are walking over, amused by how many people are still walking around and it is 20 minutes until game time. We check behind the alumni center but just see mostly families tailgating. “Ahh, it must be on the other side of the alumni center". So we continued onwards…and then a dim buzzing noise filled our ears.

Have we finally found this magical land of student tailgating?

The buzzing grew louder with each step, like an nest of angry, drunk hornets. Finally the field came into view as we stepped over the hill.

The student tailgating area made me think of the epic battles in 300: a sea of writhing people and the deafening sound of voices, except instead of bodies, the field was littered with the corpses of empty beer cans and Solo Cups.

Oh, and basically this:

"YAY BEER!"

 My first thought (only because the nearby students were blasting Don Omar and dang do I need some reggaeton in my life here) was:

Technically this is the "I can see Russia from my house!" dance.

 Then I realized I am old. (Basically.)

Plus…my inner environmentalist cried many sad tears at the sight of all the beer cans & Solo Cups.

Exhibit A:

A graveyard of Solo Cups. Don't weep for me, IU.

And that made me all:

REALLY? LIKE WE REALLY CAN NOT CLEAN UP AFTER OURSELVES, MY DEAR COLLEGE STUDENTS?? DON'T Y'ALL KNOW THAT "IN LOCO PARENTIS" IS OVER???!!! 

We are not your mothers!! Throw away those cups!!!!

And then I realized:

No. Big 10 undergrad tailgates are not for me.

So yeah, ugh. This was all toooooo much for me. I prefer my undergraduate time of Homecoming celebrations at BGSU – in a giant bird suit.

What? Wearing a bird suit is a totally valid lifestyle!

Oh well. Every college has a culture. If anything, I am just smirking on the inside on how everyone will feel tomorrow:

Being hungover sucks - good luck tomorrow, dear IU students ;)